Hercules
Season 4
� MCA/Universal - No infringement intended

My plans are grand but my time is limited. Any assistance would be
greatly appreciated. All quotation contributions are welcomed and will be acknowledged.
Please send contributions to [email protected].
This page was last updated on 02/20/01.

Beanstalks and Bad Eggs
Autolycus: "All that for a bean?!"
Typhoon: "Fe, fie, fo, fum."
Typhoon: "To the moon, Herc!"

Hero's Heart

Regrets ... I've Had A Few

Web of Desire
Arachne: "Do you think I'm beautiful?"
Iolaus: "Yeah,
I like bugs."
Hercules: "Overall, I'd have to say, it's been a really disgusting
day."
Iolaus: "We should be pirates, the two of us, swashbuckling. I'd be
good at buckling swashes."

Stranger in a Strange World

Two Men and a Baby

Prodigal Sister

... And Fancy Free
Ellis?: "I thought you'd be wearing a cape or something."
Hercules: "I tried, but it just didn't fly."
Hercules: "It's my fault. I take a way too much space."
Hercules: "I feel like a hamster."
Hercules: "Are you all right?"
Widow: "No I'm
not. How they manhandled me, and it's been so long."
Widow Twanky: "How does a porcu know to pine, why does a beaver give
damn?"
Widow: "In order to dance, one must be able to move freely."
Widow: "Rhythm is life."

If I Had A Hammer

Hercules on Trial
Hercules: "Being a Hero means putting yourself on the line."

Medea Culpa

Men In Pink
Autoylcus: "I'm Autolyaca and this is my partner Salmonella."

Armageddon Now, Part 1
Iolaus: "Hey, is the world supported on the backs of four giant
elephants?"

Armageddon Now, Part 2

Yes Virginia, There is a Hercules

Porkules
09/11/2000
Ares: "My brother is going to have to change his name to
Porkules."
Autolycus: "When you are the single most gifted
thief that ever lived you've got to find new ways to challenge yourself.
Stealing from a god seemed like a good start."
Autolycus (to Iolaus): "You touch me again and I'll
... I'll be just as upset as I am now."
Autolycus (to Iolaus after Hercules, as a pig, runs
away): "... way to fumble the pigskin, pal."
Autolycus (to Colchis and his beaten men): "Spread
the word, I'm a lover and a fighter."
Autolycus (to Iolaus): "I may be a thief, but there
are some things that even I won't do. ... Like -- I won't drink red
wine with fish. I won't eat the horse I rode in on. And I would
never, never sell out a friend...."
[After Iolaus suggest stealing Hermes flying boots in order to
speed up the search for Hercules]
Autolycus: "I see how you are, Mr. Morals. Stealing is okay as
long as it suits you."
Autolycus (after stealing Hermes boots): "Quick,
lets amscray."
Iolaus: "Pig Latin. How appropriate."
Autolycus (after using Hermes boots to fly around, locate
Hercules and crash into slaughterhouse): "This whole flying thing is for
the birds."
Autolycus: "You deviled ham, you."
Autolycus (to Hercules, no longer a pig): "Well, we
took on three gods and saved your curly tail. I guess we can help you out
again."
Autolycus (as Hercules leaves his family reunion to
deliver a female pig back to her home): "He's certifiable, you know
that?"
Iolaus: "... I wouldn't have him any other way."
Colchis (to Hercules): "Little pig. Little
pig! Let me in or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll burn your house
down."
Discord (re: Strife): "He was a geek with the I.Q.
of a sponge. ... he's better off dead."
Ares: "Still, he was fun to kick around."
Discord: "... by the end of this day, you'll be so
-- tickled, you'll want me to be your second in command."
Ares: "... You have no shame! And I like your
style!"
Discord: "Oh, baby! There's a whole lot more of me to like --
if you know where to look."
Ares: "Oh, you know I do."
Discord (after turning Hercules into a pig): "The
other white meat."
Discord: "Am I good, or am I bad?"
Discord: "I've been around since time began.
You couldn't even begin to count the notches on my bedpost."
Colchis: "What can I say? I love a woman with
experience."
Discord (to Colchis): "If you don't find that pig,
your name's mud."
Colchis: "I love it when you talk dirty."
Discord: "Let me put it another way. No pig -- no party!"
Discord (to Ares re: Colchis): "There's nothing
wrong with a little diversion from time to time. ... And you know
how I hate to sleep alone."
Hercules: "I've got a sense of humor. I just
exercise it wisely."
Iolaus: "... You don't care about the needs of
the people."
Autolycus: "Of course I do, I happen to be one of them."
Iolaus (re: Artemis' bow which Autolycus stole and sold):
"Who has the bow?"
Autolycus: "I didn't catch her name. Black hair, black
leather, sort of sexy in a tie-me-down-and-hurt-me kind of way."
Iolaus: "Discord! You sold Artemis' bow to Discord!"
Iolaus (aiming arrow in Artemis' bow at Ares after having
already turned Discord into a chicken): "Unless you want to be the god of
gophers, you better make like a tornado and blow."

One Fowl Day

My Fair Cupcake

War Wounds
Iphicles: "Just because these men fought in the war, they're not
above the law!"
Nebula: "Nothing like friends in high places."
Iolaus:
"He's more than a friend. He's Hercules' brother."
Hercules: "If you have a fight with my brother, you have a fight with
me."

Twilight
Young Hercules: "I fight my own battles."

Top God

Reunions
