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Hercules

Season 4

� MCA/Universal - No infringement intended

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This page was last updated on 02/20/01.

Beanstalks and Bad Eggs

Autolycus: "All that for a bean?!"

Typhoon: "Fe, fie, fo, fum."

Typhoon: "To the moon, Herc!"

Hero's Heart

Regrets ... I've Had A Few

Web of Desire

Arachne: "Do you think I'm beautiful?"  
Iolaus: "Yeah, I like bugs."

Hercules: "Overall, I'd have to say, it's been a really disgusting day."

Iolaus: "We should be pirates, the two of us, swashbuckling. I'd be good at buckling swashes."

Stranger in a Strange World

Two Men and a Baby

Prodigal Sister

... And Fancy Free

Ellis?: "I thought you'd be wearing a cape or something."   
Hercules: "I tried, but it just didn't fly."

Hercules: "It's my fault.  I take a way too much space."

Hercules: "I feel like a hamster."

Hercules: "Are you all right?"   
Widow: "No I'm not.  How they manhandled me, and it's been so long."

Widow Twanky: "How does a porcu know to pine, why does a beaver give damn?"

Widow: "In order to dance, one must be able to move freely."

Widow: "Rhythm is life."

If I Had A Hammer

Hercules on Trial

Hercules: "Being a Hero means putting yourself on the line."

Medea Culpa

Men In Pink

Autoylcus: "I'm Autolyaca and this is my partner Salmonella."

Armageddon Now, Part 1

Iolaus: "Hey, is the world supported on the backs of four giant elephants?"

Armageddon Now, Part 2

Yes Virginia, There is a Hercules

Porkules

09/11/2000

Ares: "My brother is going to have to change his name to Porkules."

Autolycus: "When you are the single most gifted thief that ever lived you've got to find new ways to challenge yourself.  Stealing from a god seemed like a good start."

Autolycus (to Iolaus): "You touch me again and I'll ... I'll be just as upset as I am now."

Autolycus (to Iolaus after Hercules, as a pig, runs away): "... way to fumble the pigskin, pal."

Autolycus (to Colchis and his beaten men): "Spread the word, I'm a lover and a fighter."

Autolycus (to Iolaus): "I may be a thief, but there are some things that even I won't do.  ...  Like -- I won't drink red wine with fish.  I won't eat the horse I rode in on.  And I would never, never sell out a friend...."

[After Iolaus suggest stealing Hermes flying boots in order to speed up the search for Hercules]
Autolycus: "I see how you are, Mr. Morals.  Stealing is okay as long as it suits you."

Autolycus (after stealing Hermes boots): "Quick, lets amscray."
Iolaus: "Pig Latin.  How appropriate."

Autolycus (after using Hermes boots to fly around, locate Hercules and crash into slaughterhouse): "This whole flying thing is for the birds."

Autolycus: "You deviled ham, you."

Autolycus (to Hercules, no longer a pig): "Well, we took on three gods and saved your curly tail.  I guess we can help you out again."

Autolycus (as Hercules leaves his family reunion to deliver a female pig back to her home): "He's certifiable, you know that?"
Iolaus: "... I wouldn't have him any other way."

Colchis (to Hercules): "Little pig.  Little pig!  Let me in or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll burn your house down."

Discord (re: Strife): "He was a geek with the I.Q. of a sponge.  ... he's better off dead."
Ares: "Still, he was fun to kick around."

Discord: "... by the end of this day, you'll be so -- tickled, you'll want me to be your second in command."
Ares: "...  You have no shame!  And I like your style!"
Discord: "Oh, baby!  There's a whole lot more of me to like -- if you know where to look."
Ares: "Oh, you know I do."

Discord (after turning Hercules into a pig): "The other white meat."

Discord: "Am I good, or am I bad?"

Discord: "I've been around since time began.  You couldn't even begin to count the notches on my bedpost."
Colchis: "What can I say?  I love a woman with experience."

Discord (to Colchis): "If you don't find that pig, your name's mud."
Colchis: "I love it when you talk dirty."
Discord: "Let me put it another way.  No pig -- no party!"

Discord (to Ares re: Colchis): "There's nothing wrong with a little diversion from time to time.  ...  And you know how I hate to sleep alone."

Hercules: "I've got a sense of humor.  I just exercise it wisely."

Iolaus: "...  You don't care about the needs of the people."
Autolycus: "Of course I do, I happen to be one of them."

Iolaus (re: Artemis' bow which Autolycus stole and sold): "Who has the bow?"
Autolycus: "I didn't catch her name.  Black hair, black leather, sort of sexy in a tie-me-down-and-hurt-me kind of way."
Iolaus: "Discord!  You sold Artemis' bow to Discord!"

Iolaus (aiming arrow in Artemis' bow at Ares after having already turned Discord into a chicken): "Unless you want to be the god of gophers, you better make like a tornado and blow."

One Fowl Day

My Fair Cupcake

War Wounds

Iphicles: "Just because these men fought in the war, they're not above the law!"

Nebula: "Nothing like friends in high places."  
Iolaus: "He's more than a friend. He's Hercules' brother."

Hercules: "If you have a fight with my brother, you have a fight with me."

Twilight

Young Hercules: "I fight my own battles."

Top God

Reunions