Season 4
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The Freshman
Living Conditions
The Harsh Light of Day
(Part 1 of a Buffy / Angel crossover - Continued in Angel
episode 'In the Dark')
01/12/2000
Willow: "... when you spend all week with a boy, you are
allowed to look at him directly."
Willow (to Oz): "Buffy's looking at Parker. Who, it
turns out, has a reflection. So, big plus there. Buffy's having
lusty wrong feelings. ..."
Buffy: "Oh, I so am."
Devon: "That was, like, the best set ever. We'll do
great in L.A. We're going to have them glued to their seats."
Willow: "Devon? Aren't they supposed to dance?"
Oz: "Well, we can glue them to the dance floor. --"
Devon: "I don't mean with real glue. You got that, right?"
Oz: "I got that."
Willow: "... I haven't seen you since graduation."
Harmony Kendall: "Big snake, huh?"
Harmony: "You're always so funny, Willow. You haven't
changed a bit."
Willow: "No, you neither."
Harmony: "Oh, maybe a little."
[Harmony transforms into a vampire and attacks Willow]
[Xander placing books on shelves in Giles' dwelling]
Xander: "I'm not enjoying this."
Giles: "Well, shelve them correctly and we can finish."
Xander: "I don't get your crazy system."
Giles: "My system? It's called the alphabet."
Anya: "I can't stop thinking about you. Sometimes, in
my dreams, you're all naked."
Xander: "... You know, if I'm in the checkout lane at the Wal-Mart,
I've had that same one."
Anya: "So, I can assume a standing Friday night date and a mutual
recognition of Prom night as our dating anniversary?"
Buffy: "Harmony's a vampire? She must be dying
without a reflection."
Spike: "Nobody knows I'm here. Now, I'm not killing
the slayer's best friend, as that would tend to announce my presence...."
Harmony (threatening Buffy): "... as soon as we have the
Gem of Amara."
[Closed Captioning during this Buffy episode spells this 'Amara'. Closed
Captioning during the crossover Angel episode spells it 'Amarra'.]
Giles: "... the Gem of Amara ...? ... ... it's
not real. It's like the vampire equivalent of the Holy Grail and a source
of some enormous power which is conveniently vague. ... 'There was a
great deal of vampiric interest in locating the gem during ... 10th
century. Questing vampires combed the Earth, but no one found it. It
was concluded that it never existed.'"
Buffy: "Well, Spike seems to think it exists, and he's looking in Sunnydale."
Harmony: "Is Antonio Bandera a vampire?"
Spike: "No."
Harmony: "Can I make him a vampire?"
Spike: "No. -- Wait, on second thought, yeah. Go do
that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids as well."
Harmony: "Hey, I don't have a pulse. Cool! Can we eat a doctor
so I can get a stethoscope and hear my heart not beating?"
Spike: "Harm -- what does it take to get you to shut the hell up?"
Harmony (erotically teasing Spike): "And if my hearts not beating, then
what are all these veins for? I'm simply covered in these blue veins,
see."
[Anya enters Xander's dwelling and drops her clothes to the
floor while Xander's back is turned to get her a drink]
Anya: "Sexual intercourse. ... I think it's the secret to
getting you out of my mind. Putting you behind me. Behind me, figuratively.
I'm thinking face-to-face for the event itself."
Xander: "... It's just we hardly know each other. I mean, I
like you, and you have a certain -- directness that I admire. But ... what
you're talking about -- well -- and I'm actually turning into a woman as I say
this -- but it's about expressing something. And accepting
consequences."
Anya: "Oh, I have condoms. Some are black."
Xander: "That's -- that's very considerate."
Anya: "I like you. You're funny, and you're nicely shaped, and
frankly, it's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not --
interlock. Please remove your clothes now."
Xander: "And the amazing thing -- still more romantic than Faith."
Parker Abrams: "Think I could get a dance with the
prettiest girl at the party?"
Buffy: "And what'll I do, just stand here and watch?"
Parker: "... I declared Pre-Med, but I hated it, so I
switched to History."
Buffy: "History? Fascinating dates and compelling places."
Parker: "But there's something amazing about these huge events that when
you dig down into them, they're all about people. Just regular people just
trying to make choices. When you look back at it, it seems like
people are swept up in the events they couldn't control. But I don't
believe that. You always have a choice with everything you do."
Anya (after the event): "So, I'm over you now."
Xander: "... okay!"
Anya: "Okay?"
Xander: "Yeah?"
Spike: "Got to get back to work."
Harmony: "You love that tunnel more than me."
Spike: "I love syphilis more than you."
Buffy: "Giles. ... I didn't know you were
here. ... I - I was, uh, studying. -- At the
library. All -- Saturday -- night. Uh, you know what? I'm an
adult and it's none of your business where I was."
Willow (to Buffy re: Buffy's night with Parker): "I love
this part. Don't you love this part? When it's all new and
everything's a discovery."
Spike: "We're close now. No one leaves the lair till
we're in. I don't want the slayer tracking anyone to the tunnel. And
that means you Harm. You're an indoor kitty now."
Harmony: "But, Spike, you said you'd take me places. You said we'd go
to France and now I can't even leave the lair. --"
Spike: "Listen to me, you stupid bint, this gem is everything. I came
back to Sunnydale for it, a place that has witnessed some truly spectacular
kickings of my ass. Now, when I have the gem, they all die. Don't
worry. But, until then, stay inside. And by the way, I would be
insanely happy if from this point on I heard bugger all about sodding
France."
Harmony: "I don't know why I let you be so mean to me?"
Spike: "Love hurts, baby."
[Willow, Oz, Xander and Giles meeting at Giles']
Xander: "Whoa, Giles has a TV. Everybody, Giles has a TV. He's
shallow like us."
Oz: "I got to admit, a little disappointed. ..."
Willow: "Well, maybe it doesn't work. It's -- it's like art."
[Xander turns on the TV]
Giles: "Uh -- Public television. ... we have vital work to do.
Watching television is not going to help us right now.
[TV news report covering collapse of roadway near U.C. Sunnydale]
[Spike goes out in the sunlight after finding the gem, he finds
Buffy and knocks her to the ground]
Spike: "What a fantastic day. Birds singing, squirrels making a lot
of rotten little squirrels, the sun beaming down in a nice non-fatal way.
It's very exciting. I can't wait to see if I freckle. --"
[Buffy and Spike fight and Buffy stakes Spike]
Spike: "Oh, do it again. It tickles, you know, in a good way."
Buffy: "The gem."
Spike: "Oh, yeah. The Gem of Amara. -- Official sponsor
of my killing you."
Harmony: "Being a vampire sucks."
Buffy (re: prior experience with Angel and current experience
with Parker): "... does this always happen? Sleep with a guy and he
goes all evil?"
Buffy: "Parker said it's okay to make mistakes. He's
so sweet."
Willow: "No, it wasn't. He was saying that so you would take a chance
and sleep with him. He's a poop-head."
Buffy: "You're right. He's manipulative and shallow -- and why
doesn't he want me? Am I repulsive? If there was something repulsive
about me, you'd tell me, right?"
Willow: "I'm your friend. I would call you repulsive in a
second."
Buffy: "Maybe Parker and I could still work it out. Do you think that
we could still work it out?"
Willow: "I think you're missing something about the whole poop-head
principle."
Fear, Itself
Bad Beer
Wild at Heart
The Initiative
Pangs
Something Blue
Hush
Doomed
A New Man
The I in Team
Goodbye, Iowa
This Year's Girl (Part I)
Who Are You (Part II)
Superstar
Where the Wild Things Are
New Moon Rising
The Yoko Factor
Primeval
09/20/2000
Riley Finn (to Adam): "I'm not your brother. You're a botched science
experiment."
Adam: "Demons cling to old ways and ancient feuds. And they're
hopeless with technology. Unworthy. ... Disappointed by
demon-kind, we turned to humans. Smart, adaptive, but emotional and
weak. Blind. There's imperfection everywhere. Something must
be done. Who will deliver us?"
Adam: "I didn't send for you, Spike."
Spike: "Yeah, well, I'm not much the being-sent-for type. I'm much
more the 'I did my part, now get this chip out of my head' kind of guy."
Spike (re: Riley): "What's with him?"
Adam: "I activated his chip."
Spike: "Oh, so it's chips all around, is it? Someone must've bought
the party-pack."
Adam: "So you failed."
Spike: "Well, hey, you're supposed to be so smart. You let me plan
this thing. OK, let's not quibble about who failed who."
Anya (to Xander): "You said you wanted to check the board at the
unemployment office this morning. You can't go like that. They won't
even interview you if you're naked."
Xander: "I'm not going. There's never anything good. Maybe I
should join the army."
Anya: "Don't they make you get up really early in the
morning?"
Xander: "Oh, yeah. Never mind."
Anya: "Are you still upset about that fight you had with your
friends? It was hours ago. Get over it. ... So they all
think you're a lost, directionless loser with no plans for his future.
Pfft."
Xander: "Anya, you can't 'pfft' that stuff away."
Anya: "Why not?"
Xander: "I don't know. 'Cause I think maybe they're
right."
Anya: "So what if they are? You're a good person and a good boyfriend
and - and I'm in love with you. Whatever they think of you, it shouldn't
matter."
Willow: "Must be programmed to self-decrypt at a certain point.
That is so annoying. It's like somebody blurting out the answer to a
riddle just when you've -"
Willow: "So why do you think Spike made with the head
games?"
Xander: "He's all dressed up with no one to bite. He's gotta get his
yayas somehow."
Buffy: "Adam's gonna make sure the demons attack the Initiative from the
inside."
Xander: "Demons versus soldiers. Massacre,
massacre."
Willow: "And Adam has a neat pile of body parts to start assembling his
army. Diabolical, yet gross."
Xander: "Does anybody else miss the Mayor, I just wanna be a big
snake?"
Spike: "Now, if you'll just get this chip out of my cranium, I'll be out
of your way. And mind the hairline. I don't fancy fussing with a
comb-over once I resume my killing ways."
Xander: "I'm full of that good old kamikaze spirit."
Giles: "Xander, just because this is never gonna work is no need to be
negative."
Willow (using ropes to descend elevator shaft): "How you
doing?"
Buffy: "Super. What was I thinking using stairs all this time?"
Spike (to Adam watching surveillance video screens): "It's must-see
TV. Bait's been taken. Trap's all set. Slayer has
landed. So, one chiperectomy, please. Hello. Paging Dr. Owe Me
One."
Buffy (to current commander of Initiative): "This is not your business. It's mine. You, the
Initiative, the boys at the Pentagon -- you're all in way over your heads,
messing with primeval forces you have absolutely no comprehension of.
... I'm the slayer. You're playing on my turf."
Willow (checking base schematics on computer screen): "According to
this, there's air ducts and electrical conduits all running into
there."
Buffy: "So?"
Willow: "So there's no there there."
Willow: "All the locks in the Initiative have been disengaged, except
for the exits."
Xander: "Demon open house."
Buffy: "Is this place OK to be magic central?"
Giles: "It should do."
Willow: "As long as we don't get blowed up or nothin'."
Adam (re: Riley): "He's part of the final phase now, as you were
supposed to be."
Buffy: "Sorry, I don't jump through hoops on command. I've never
really been one to tow the line."
[Incantation per Closed Captioning]
"By the generous will of the ancients, the almighty power of the divine
spirits, your supplicants humbly beseech thee to behold us and that which we
possess -- the moieties of the one, the avatar.
Spiritus...Spirit.
Animus...Heart.
Sophus...Mind.
And Manus...The hand.
We enjoin that we may inhabit the vessel -- the hand, daughter of Sineya, first
of the ones. We implore thee, admit us. Bring us to the
vessel. Take us now."
[Spoken Incantation]
Willow: "Power of the Slayer in all who yield it, last to ancient first we
invoke thee. Grant us thy domain and primal strength. Accept us and
the powers we possess. Because mind and heart and spirit join, let the
hand encompass us. Do thy will."
Willow: "Spiritus...Spirit."
Xander: "Animus...Heart."
Giles: "Sophus...Mind."
Willow: "And Manus...The hand."
Willow: "We enjoin that we may inhabit the vessel -- the hand, daughter of
Sineya, first of the ones. We implore thee, admit us. Bring us
to the vessel. Take us now."
Forrest: "Shut up and watch me kill your girlfriend, Finn. That's
an order."
Buffy: "Fun, isn't it."
Adam: "I do appreciate violence."
Buffy (Breaking spike off of Adam's left arm): "Broke your arm."
Adam: "Got another. (Gattling gun morphs out of Adams right
arm) I've been upgrading."
Buffy (with the power of other Slayers to Adam): "You could never hope
to grasp the source of our power. [Buffy rips Adam's power source out of
his chest] But yours is right here."
Giles: "... your heroism was slightly muted by the fact that you were
helping Adam to start a war that would kill us all."
Xander: "You probably just saved us so we wouldn't stake you right
here."
Spike: "Well, yeah. Did it work? -- Well, then
everything's all right, and we all get to be not staked through the heart.
Good work, team."
Riley: "We still got men out there."
Spike: "Well, let's go save 'em, by gum."
Government Official: "It was an experiment. The Initiative
represented the government's interest in not only controlling the otherworldly
menace, but in harnessing its power for our own military purposes. The
considered opinion of this counsel is that the experiment has failed. Once
the prototype took control of the complex, our soldiers suffered a 40% casualty
rate. And it seems that it was only through the actions of a deserter and
a group of civilian insurrectionists that our losses were not total. I
trust the irony of that is not lost on any of us. Maggie Walsh's vision
was brilliant, but ultimately insupportable. The demons cannot be
harnessed, cannot be controlled. It is therefore our recommendation that
this project be terminated and all records concerning it expunged. Our
soldiers'll be debriefed. Standard confidentiality clause. We will
monitor the civilians and the usual measures prepared should they try to go
public. I don't think they will. The Initiative itself will be
filled in with concrete. Burn it down, gentlemen. Burn it down and
salt the earth. That's all."
Restless